NFL Playoff Picks and Predictions from Somone who Doesn't Follow Football, Know Anything About Football, or Care About Football Part 2

Man, I did not do well in my predictions in week 1.

I went one for three, with the Jets/Bengals game being the only one I called correctly.

So, what have we learned? Teams deals with the Devil are a good parameter for making sports predictions, food preferences, presence (or lack of preference) of characters from the Wire, and the fittingness of team names are bad parameters.

With these lessons learned, here are my predictions for week 2. Please keep in my mind that I still do not care about football, and still have relatively little knowledge of it:


Cardinals/ Saints

The Saints are from New Orleans which is a city that is karmically due for something great to happen. Therefore, I pick the Saints. Because of Karma. Incidentally, I'm christening this game The Catholic Bowl as it pits Saints vs. Cardinals.


Ravens/Colts

Here's the most important question in regards to this game: Could a raven take a horse in a fight? I would say no. Now, a raven would have a huge advantage over the horse in that it can fly, while the horse cannot. But, a horse is a large powerful animal while ravens are small and have hollow bones. So, while I imagine the raven would be able to avoid the horse's crushing blows for awhile, in the end, I think the horse would win. I predict that the horseys will beat the Ravens.


Cowboys/Vikings

Vikings are from Scandinavia. Cowboys are from America. In a fictional war between the US, and the countries that make up Scandinavia, I'm pretty sure the US would win. Therefore the Cowboys will win. U-S-A! U-S-A!

Jets/Chargers

As the only game I called correctly last week was the Jets/Bengals games, I pick the Jets to win again. Do not bet against a team or city that has a deal with Satan.